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elliott smith's red balloon
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[18 Jan 2006|12:56am] |
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"HAIL TO THE FEEF
this is theivery & blood lust
we are learning to adjust
we have followed all the signs
we are giving you our trust
we are swallowing the
medicine....
...we are following you
EDISON
ELECTRICUTE ME."
i found these words in a notebook of mine and i don't know what they mean. i think i was having a panic attack when i wrote them. that would explain the misspelling of 'electrocute'. and the really strange mid sentence rhyming at the end.
my head is full of this stuff and i think miniature lightning storms of anxiety in my brain are the only way to get them out.
this must be how radiohead albums are written.
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| fitter happier |
[15 Jan 2006|07:28pm] |
 i bought these today in order to fill up just a bit more of my house with shoes. that and watching movies and reading books is making me feel better. aquatic adventures and stories about rockets.. i miss everyone again. them being home reminded me of the days of trampoline parties and writing ridiculous songs and throwing anything we could find from great heights. and movies we made. the few people that are still here, i don't see enough of. i hope to put that right. i feel very high school again, and the winter is lasting too long. i'm thinking less and less of it the longer it is here, and i don't think much of this year yet at all. i've been spending most of it with all the wrong people. i don't think much of a lot of people these days. thinking of them and their putrid little lives makes me sad. luckily there are still a few people who i think a great deal of. i wish there was an actual different world we could inhabit, as opposed to the little world we created for ourselves. that world is invisible, around us, people can walk in from the outside and destroy pieces of it. and it's connected to other worlds, like those of the people who make the music and movies we love, and maybe connected to yours. and if we could make these worlds real, and detatch them from everything else and from those repulsive people, maybe we could all be better, happier, maybe that would be it. |
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| note to self |
[11 Jan 2006|12:32pm] |
when you were young did you believe in every thing you couldn't see
and in your mind you saw deft hands weaving the noise of your demands
back in those days when i would sleep waiting in bed there i could see the darkest tendrils of my dreams
floating in wisps out of my ears,
and i would pull them from the air,
and i would cleave them to my chest,
and keep them tight between my ribs with careful stitches of pink thread
and your older brother lived away, and his insides were made of snakes
and your heart was filled with tiny birds and so you kept away from him
though when he left to go to war, you stood and waved from the platform,
and when he finally returned you found that
all the snakes were gone
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[21 Dec 2005|08:05pm] |
sophie picked me up some ray bradbury books from work (she volunteers at oxfam books & music on park st.) and when i opened r is for rocket out fell this plane ticket. the book is a 1972 edition and i think the ticket is of a similar age.
aer lingus flight 153 still exists, it is a daily flight from heathrow to dublin.
someday i intend to take that flight and i will read this book while we fly over the sea.
i found this picture of an aer lingus plane in 1972 and imagined a ray bradbury enthusiast sitting in seat 6e on the way to dublin imagining themselves being on a rocket to the moon.
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[14 Dec 2005|04:42pm] |
ok go jan 19 (fleece)
coheed vs thrice jan 29 (academy)
be your own pet feb 6 (fleece)
death cab for cutie march 6th (wedgewood rooms)
calexico & iron and wine apr 22 (academy)
how many of these could i realistically go to? all of them hopefully.
also what is with all the good bands i saw at the fleece recently coming back and playing shepherds bush and nowhere else. something is going on. nada surf are playing there and i am almost tempted to go because they were really quite staggeringly good.
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[09 Dec 2005|10:33pm] |
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[08 Dec 2005|01:28pm] |
i never used to like winter so much, but now i think that it's not so bad...
winter trees are pretty nice, and red starbucks cups, and bonfires and new boots.
it won't overtake summer as my favourite season, but i think perhaps it's not as terrible as i originally thought it to be,
and that's something.
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[23 Nov 2005|08:38pm] |
are you swallowing the irritant are you petulant and obstinate?......... do you find yourself suffering from excessive bloodthirstiness
are you following the path around
the garden grows behind your house
but nothing grows inside you now
but nothing lives inside you..........
............
are you slumped too far down in your chair
are you still grasping the clump of hair
will you let yourself get old and tired
is your scalp a tingling forest fire
i can succeed in succeeding i can live without eating i will prevail without needing i can live without healing i can sleep without waking move my hands without shaking i will live in this building without breaking and spilling
(2 new songs nearly finished....i think....)
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[20 Nov 2005|12:18pm] |
my new boots.
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[18 Nov 2005|09:54pm] |
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music |
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the mountain goats, 'family happiness' |
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i went to the midnight showing of harry potter and you didn't.
unless you did, in which case... we are cool and everyone else.. is not.
i had my lightning scar.
make fun of me and i'll.....i'll hex you.
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| required life update |
[14 Nov 2005|06:09pm] |
three things i did in the past week
1. saw sigur ros live
2. saw nada surf live
3. made plans to buy a freakin sidekick finally
two songs i love right this moment
1. 'many funerals' by eisley
2. 'blonde on blonde' by nada surf
one last thing
1. why is it so cold in here?
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[05 Nov 2005|12:54pm] |
we make cupcakes & watch fireworks
we had guy fawkes a day early this year
(for some reason).
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| i m ritin lyrix |
[30 Oct 2005|02:09am] |
song number 3 million four unfinished like all the others.
seasonal affective disorder are you my best friend or my worst enemy...?
i can't tell really but honestly why do i only write in the winter?
are you swallowing the irritant
are you petulant and obstinate
do you find yourself suffering
from excessive bloodthirstiness
are you following the path around
the garden grows behind your house
but nothing grows inside you now
but nothing lives inside you,
are you slumped too far down in your chair
are you still grasping that clump of hair
is your scalp a tingling forest fire....................
...............................
blah
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[28 Oct 2005|02:51pm] |
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[28 Oct 2005|02:44pm] |
sweetness...sweetness i was only joking when i said I'd like to
smash every tooth in your head.
oh sweetness, sweetness, i was only joking when i said by rights you
should be bludgeoned in your bed.
and now I know how joan of arc felt,
now I know how joan of arc felt
as the flames rose to her roman nose and her walkman started to melt.
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